Just bury me in the Backyard…
When my wife and I first bought our home in the country, I dreamed of planting trees that lined the property and orchard of fruit trees of every kind that would produce a fruitful harvest every year. And every year since I still wish for it. That was over 25 yrs ago. I recently was reminded of an ancient proverb, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago….”. Sadly procrastination has got the best of me, when it comes to planting trees.
We all enjoy planning for birthday parties, weddings and anniversaries, yet planning for our funeral,…forget it, that’s no fun. That is something in the distant future, to put on the back burner. Recently I asked the daughter of a deceased father if she had wished to consider pre-arranging her funeral wishes. She responded,” Oh, no, I won’t be do that anytime soon, that’s going to be further down the road for me.” She is 71 yrs old.
Here’s some tough love….
I am sure you have heard it said when it comes to discussing funeral arrangements, “I just don’t want to talk about it right now”, or, “All I want is just to have someone dig a hole and bury me in the backyard.” In a recent article in the May 2020 Independence Blue Cross magazine, it stated, that when we say comments like that, what we are really saying is, we don’t want to burden our loved ones or bother them with any of those details. But the reality is, if we are not prepared or we do not plan financially or otherwise, we are doing just that. When that day comes, the burden of responsibility doesn’t just go away, it will fall squarely on the shoulders of our spouse, children or next of kin. The very people you didn’t want to bother or have handle your final arrangements, will be left to deal with all aspects of not just your funeral arrangements and burial but also your final financial and family affairs and distributions without your input. Its comes sometimes as an unexpected and unfortunate burden for your family if we do not prepare now.
Let me address some common issues that hopefully will help.
There are Four common excuses for not planning ahead…..
1. “I’m too busy.” We are all busy, for sure. Something has to be important, or we have to make it a priority, in order to fit it into our schedule. To finish the last sentence of that ancient proverb quoted earlier: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago…. The next best time is… NOW.” So….. it’s not too late.
2. “I can’t afford it or It cost to much” . The great thing about preplanning is, you can plan your service the way you want. It can be as little or as big as you want. Depending on what your choice of disposition, cremation or traditional burial or other amenities you want included. Your final expense cost can be as little as $1,000 for a direct cremation to $4,000 for a traditional burial service. If you preplan with one of our pre-need councilors your monthly expense could be as little as $25 to $50 per month for 3 – 5 years. Yes, it is a monthly expense. But the nice thing about pre-planning is when its paid off, its done. Its not like life insurance and you pay for the rest of your life. When your funeral expense is paid, your prices are locked in and you don’t have to worry about it any more.
3. “I am afraid if I do my estate planning, it means I will die.” News flash: You will die. Whether or not you do any estate planning. Signing your will or setting up a trust will not induce that day to come any sooner. Getting your estate planning done by a professional will give you peace of mind, knowing that you’ve provided for an orderly administration and distribution of your assets when that day comes. Do something about it today. Seriously.
4. “My kids can deal with it when I’m dead; I won’t care ’cause I won’t be around.” Fair to say, you won’t be around, you won’t be around to see the mess you create. But is that any way to live your life? If you care about your family now, why would you not make the effort to make their lives easier in the future by nominating who will be in charge and providing for who gets what? The Golden Rule seems particularly apt here: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
In closing, let us all look at our passing as a chance to honor and celebrate our lives the way we would want, remember the positive contributions we shared. If we can, lets take charge and write down our final plans, financially planning and paying for our service and then sharing those plans with your family or loved ones. Preparing brings comfort. What a blessing that will be to you and a tremendous gift of peace and comfort you will leave with your family.
Be Good, Be Safe and Be the Light…
Joel Carver,
Lighthouse Funeral & Cremation
